Today was the day that I had my experience being as it’s called “baptized in the Holy Spirit”. Now I was not ready for this to happen today. I mean I’ve been wanting it to happen. I’ve been looking for a lot changes and man they are all coming at once. When you open yourself up to what the Lord is doing man he blesses you.
I’ve been so excited at seeing what the Lord is doing in everyone else’s life but man he is blessing my life. Even beyond my experience in the car today. Now I realize that everyone’s experience is different and some people may disagree with the possibility of it but I cannot deny what I experienced in my car today.
I was actually freaking out at first. I went for a long run…by that I mean 4 miles, which is a good bit for me right now. I’m going to be able to do more. The Lord will give me that strength. I know that he will. I have a strength and power in me now that no one can ever possibly take away from me. I realize it’s still going to be hard. But my daddy has me. I feel him.
Anyway…so back to everything. First of all. May I say that I love my job. I really do. I am so blessed by this new position and what I get to do. I feel like the Lord is up to some crazy awesome things where I work and for some reason I get to be part of what’s going on.
So with his blessings at work, he is also continuing to reveal the bigger picture. It is continuing to blow my mind. I thought I knew and I thought was ready. I was not ready for this. I am glad he didn’t show me this all at once. I am glad that I’m getting it in pieces. And I’m glad what I was shown today happened today.
I will not get distracted this time. That is for sure. As we talked about in church today, distractions come in all shapes and sizes. They are not always big glaring things but can be small minute things or beautiful things. Here is the thing. I think that some may think that I am a distraction. I do not believe that I am the distraction. I think that I have been used as a distraction from time to time but I am not the main distraction. As they are not my main distraction. I know what my assignment is. I am not stopping with my assignment. I will fight to complete this and see this to its end.
I know that God is working out a lot right now and I don’t always know the details of what is going on or why I am praying as hard as I am when I am but I know that there is always a reason. The people don’t always know that I am praying that hard for them at that moment or that the Lord is using me in that moment intercede but hold moly interceding on someone’s behalf if such a blessing. I have no idea why the Lord has asked me to do this but I am excited. It is exhausted but so wonderful to be helping to fight the fight and know that there is probably someone out there fighting for me as well.
Sometimes we don’t know who the person is. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we find out after the fact. There is such a great purpose behind whichever scenario it is.
Thankfully the Lord has given me renewed strength. I tell you I am sincerely filled with the Holy Spirit, in a way that I never understood. I heard people and I’ve seen people. And I thought I had something before. And I did. It’s been an ongoing process over the last year. I know that I can keep fighting this fight. I’ve got Jesus on my side. I’m filled and ready to keep going.
Though there may be distractions. For me they seem to come in the way of shutting me out and trying to keep me from doing what I believe that I need to be doing. Which I know sounds a bit nuts. It comes from the people who mean well and tell me to back off and that maybe it’s better this way. It’s protecting me.
I don’t need protecting. I need to do what the Lord is asking me to do. And believe me I know that it sounds crazy and sometimes I feel crazy and I don’t want to do it but I know it’s my purpose for the time. It is the start of what is coming.
In this assignment of interceding and praying, it is bringing me so close to God. I literally talk to him all the time. I have never felt more connected to him. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t experienced the silence that we all dread. Believe me I have my times where I’m like do I keep doing this, do I stop, where are you, what are you doing. This is the toughest and easiest thing all wrapped into one.
I don’t quite understand all that I am presently experiencing. I will be honest. I freaked out after my experience in the car. I didn’t know what to do. I was so overcome. Plus most people say that it has to happen with other people praying over you and laying hands on you.
I experienced it alone in my car. I was literally compelled to pull over and stop. I just started praying for what I know I need to pray for and it just went in a whole new direction. Now I have felt compelled to pray for certain people and things before. I have felt the Lord’s presence when I have prayed before. However, this experience was different.
It was not me. It was very much the Holy Spirit in me and new words that were not my own. I still have many questions about this all. But there is such a deep excitement in me. I am learning new ways to praise the Lord and speak to the Lord.
I have busted out into praise breaks. Again that is not me. But I cannot help it now. I can now praise him in my own prayer language and intercede with that when I do not have the right words to say. Jesus is doing a mighty work in me and I am so excited for it.
He is also making a way for me to work with teenagers and youth too. It’s been something that has been on my heart for some time. Well let’s be honest, I want to be a high school teacher. So really it’s been on my heart since I started college.
I thought it would start in the form of my teaching in the classroom, but that does not seem to be the case. I had tried to get active in working with high schoolers when I started going to the church before the one that I am at now. It seemed like they didn’t really want me there and nothing ever panned out. There are so many reasons why I am so grateful that it didn’t pan out. The Lord knew what he was doing.
He knew that I needed this week to be how it has been too. He is making me stronger and better and more prepared for what is next. He’s getting me to the place that I’m trying to get to. A place that I never thought that I would ever get to. And he’s doing it so fast. All the changes are coming so fast and it’s crazy amazing.
So anyway today, the Assistant Pastor pulled me into the meeting for the youth and young adults with Bishop. I was excited and nervous and confused as I was thinking this was all high school and college students. I approached them afterward stating how old I was. The one thought that I was 21. Oh to be that age again. No thank you. Haha I don’t want to go back. But I do want to work with the youth. The sad thing is that they are meeting on Wednesday at 8:15. I work until 9. So I need the Lord to make a way for me to get there. As I think that this is part of the plan. Which is part of the bigger plan. I had wanted to get involved her and I have always had a passion for students and ministry and ahhhhhh like I said I don’t know what the Lord is doing but PRAISE HIM FOR IT!!!!
He is doing a great thing and I am so excited and so blessed to be part of it. I can’t want to see where he is taking me and what he is doing. I am stepping out again from my comfort zone and into the realm of the unknown. Life is about to get busy. But I will not get distracted. This is my purpose. This is my assignment. I am willing to go where he wants me to go and stay where he wants me to stay. I want him to use me.
I will keep fighting on my hands and knees. I will keep fighting. I will not give up. I will not stop. No matter how much I am asked not to continue by people. Because I do not serve man. I serve God and follow him. He is asking me to pray without ceasing and so I will. He is opening the door for finally working with youth. I knew that it was coming at some point. I just didn’t know when.
He’s laying the next layer for this next season. I am strapping in and ready for the ride this season. I hope that everyone else is too. Pray me strength to see this out and not stop. Any of it. Though I have my second wind….the enemy is a fighter and doesn’t want us to succeed and have a second wind.
Thankfully I serve a God who is bigger than that. He has already made the way.
Good night!!! Keep up the fight!