Why do we end up not loving ourselves? Why do we have such a negative view of ourselves? Why do we not see how others see us? Well those who love us?

We are so negative and judgmental of one another. For what end? To make ourselves feel better? You don’t know what that person is dealing with? You don’t know the battle that they are going through?

We all put on an act and a show to others. We pretend like we have it together. And then people judge us. We make a mistake and people judge us.

We are all humans. We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. We all struggle with knowing ourselves and being confident in ourselves. We don’t need someone else to do it for us.

Especially as Christians. We should be the first to love on each other and lift each other up. We should not belittle and judge people. We are all trying to figure this thing called life out. We don’t understand it and it doesn’t often go how we planned it but we are trying to do the best we can. So support one another. Listen to one another.

Why do we pick and choose who we love on? When a girl gets pregnant out of marriage. We judge her an condone her and shame her often times. Until the bump shows. Then we ooh and aah. When the baby comes out we ooh and aah. We shower them with gifts and visits.

We think the man is horrible and it’s all his fault and that he needs to do right by her and the baby and marry her and support them. We criticize him and make him feel like the worst person. We tell him what he should do and how he should do it.

If he chooses to not marry her we think that this is the worst decision ever. We judge him for it and feel for the girl. Wait…maybe he is protecting her and the baby and himself. What if he realized that they had made a choice and made a mistake and now they have to deal with it and take responsibility but that marriage is not the right answer.

What if he is keeping it from being worse in the end. What if it would have been a loveless marriage that would have been two people entering into the wrong union just because people said it was right. They didn’t love each other in the first place. It had only been to fill the physical desires. They hadn’t been dating and maybe they were barely even friends. What if it would’ve meant more fighting and a bitter divorce in the wend and it would have hurt the child more.

What if it’s better to figure out how to co-parent outside marriage? What if we let them decide and work it out and navigate it? What if we supported them in what they were going through and the decisions that they were trying to make.

What if we didn’t tell them what to do? What if we were just their friends? What if we didn’t try to force something on them?

What if we didn’t tell him what a horrible person he was? It was two people that made a choice. It was not just one. You cannot blame one person. So why do we? In our judging him this causes him to look at himself negatively.

We worry about the girl who is a single mom and feel sorry for her. But what about the dad? Why do we always blame him? What if he is trying to figure out how to take responsibility? What if he is trying to figure out how to love this child and be there for him? What if he is trying to do right?

Please stop looking at each other negatively and judging one another and telling them negative things. They already think enough negative things about themselves.

We think only teenagers are cruel and deal with self doubt and self esteem issues. That’s not the case. Adults are just as bad. Churches are often the worst. Which is sad. That should be the most loving and the most healing of places.

Church is a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints. We are all broken people who are standing in need of grace. Show grace and mercy and love to one another. Because one day you are going to need someone to show it to you.


Love yourself and what you see in the mirror. Don't let others tear you down. Lift one another up in love.

Love yourself and what you see in the mirror. Don’t let others tear you down. Lift one another up in love.