So I woke up super early this Sunday morning, continuing to feel a heavy heart. Do you ever have moments where you feel so weighed down…like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? I’m pretty sure I’ve caused myself back pain because of how weighed down I feel. I feel so alone in carrying this weight.
I feel like no one can understand what I am going through and the thoughts that are racing through my head. I feel like no one understands my situation. I feel like I have no one to talk to. The one person that I want to talk to who might possibly understand…well at least part of it has their own battle to go through. And I don’t fully understand their battle and I know that they feel alone. And this makes me feel worse and more alone.
Why do we feel so alone in a world of 6 billion people? Even when we are surrounded by people? Why do we feel so alone? Why do we feel like no one understands? Why do we try to face our demons alone? Why do we stress ourselves out so much and cause ourselves to get physically sick?
I personally get myself so worked up that I cannot eat or sleep. I feel sick all the time and nothing sound appetizing. My stomach cannot handle it. And then I worry and can’t sleep. Sometimes no matter how hard I pray, I can’t get my brain to stop thinking and I can’t sleep. And even once I do sleep, I dream about it. And I wake up feeling unrested. I also ache…like physically ache. My back hurts and I get headaches. My chest hurts. It’s such a mess. I know others like this too. Some people eat but they can’t keep in down. We miss out on the nutrition that we need to stay healthy and strong.
We feel weak physically, emotionally, and mentally. We feel like we will never get out of the rut. We feel as though no one is hearing us or listening to us and haven’t been through what we have been through.
How do you be there for someone who feels so alone? How do we let others be there for us when we are so alone? Part of it goes back to what I had mentioned before. We listen and we do not judge. But sometimes we have gotten ourselves so worked up and are in such a mindset that we think that no one is listening and everyone is judging, even when people are listening.
Ugh this is such a vicious cycle. And it sucks when you can see it and feel like there is literally nothing that you can do about you. You just want to be happy and not think about it and you want them to be happy and not think about it. You want to fix it all and know that there is no easy solution.
Part of loneliness is you or that person working through it themselves. We have to choose to see that we are not actually alone in a situation. As much as we feel that we are alone, no man is an island. Two are better than one. All of us have at least Jesus on our side fighting for us and with us.
Most of us have more than just him. We have someone fighting and interceding on a daily basis. Many times throughout the day. We need to intercede on each other’s behalf. As we talk to God about what we need, we need to pray for others. The moment that you a see something that reminds you of them or you hear that voice that says their name or pushes you to pray for them you do it. And you don’t stop doing it.
I will get a bit more personal here. For me when I see that person’s name, a similar make of car, their picture, part of their name, or just whenever I feel them heavy on my heart. That’s when I pray. As I said for me it’s multiple times a day. But that’s because they’re battling. Right now they feel alone and that no one is listening and that they are drowning. We say we want deeper waters but then it’s tough because we can’t do it on our own. So we need to pray and we need others to pray. We cant’ keep others from praying for us and no one can stop you from praying for them. Now I’ll be honest, it’s not always easy to pray.
Often times I don’t want to. I want to give up. I want the easy road. But I didn’t sign up for easy. Life’s not easy. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it was going to feel lonely at times. I knew that they were going to feel lonely. We feel we have to go through battles alone. And yes sometimes part of the battle is alone. But at the same time, it’s important to let others fight with us. We need each to lift each other up and support one another. We need each other for encouragement and for the second wind to make it through to the finish line of this season and get into the next season.
Yes I continually feel alone and yes you continually feel alone and he feels alone and she feels alone. But we are not alone. Don’t give up. Keep being there for one another and praying for one another. No we aren’t going to be perfect at it but we have to try and we will do our best. We will get through it. Together. One way or another.