I don’t want to be a toxic person. I don’t want to be someone that people don’t want to around. I don’t want to be negative. I don’t want to be cruel. I don’t want to be harsh. I don’t want to turn people away. I don’t want to cause pain and heartache and hurt.

I want to be someone who encourages and lifts others up. I want to be someone who will encourage others and lift them up. I want to be supportive and build up. I want to challenge people and help them. I want to love them. I want them to know that they are worth more than the negativity that we are fed. I want them to believe in themselves and have a support team to get them through the hard times.

I don’t want to push people away. I don’t want to belittle them or berate them or make them feel bad about themselves. I don’t want to ignore them or feel as though they do not matter. I do not want to runaway and avoid. I do not want to be angry or upset or make them to feel that way.

I want them to be happy to live life to their fullest. I want people to see the good in themselves. I want them to be positive. And I want to be positive with them. I want to help them. I want to grow with them. I want to see the good in everyone.

I will not let my insecurities keep me from this any longer. I haven’t been beaten up emotionally and made to feel insignificant. I do not want to do this to others. I want to know when to push and when to let go. I want to know when to challenge and when to listen. I want to love and to be loved.

I want to support and encourage. I want to be there on the sidelines providing energy and encouragement. I don’t want to be the one who caused the heartache and the frustration.

I don’t want to be the one that people avoid and ignore and talk about negatively.I don’t want to be the one that people are scared to talk to. I want to be approachable and compassionate and understanding. I want to be accepting. I want to love.

I don’t care what your background is or what your past is. We all have a past. We all make mistakes. We all have things that we have to live with. We’ve all made our choices. But I am not my past. I am so much more than my past.

God has brought me from who I once was. I do not need men to fulfill me. I do not need the false charms and the lies and the misdirection. I do not need the lust that I once sought.  God is continuing to shape me and show me I am so much more than that.

I want to be so much more than that. I want to be seen as more than that. No I didn’t sleep with hundreds of people. No I didn’t just get into bed with everyone. No I didn’t get into weird things. But I did let myself down. I did fail and fall for guys that I shouldn’t have.

I settled for less than love. I settled for the physical and the lust. I settled for the mundane and the temporary instead of what was to be great and what was meant to me. Now I have to pay for that. I bring this baggage to any future relationship. Whoever I am with will have to deal with that. I will have to deal with it. They will have to deal with it.

I need a cheerleader. I need an encourage-er. I need someone to support me and to challenge me. I need to be that for them. We all need someone to lift us up.  When we are weak and going through difficult times, we need someone to be there for us.

We often push them away when we need them the most. We often don’t tell people how much we need the encouragement and support because we think it makes us weak and vulnerable and we don’t want to let people in.

Instead we shut down. We retreat and pull into ourselves. We pretend like it’s okay. We put on the face and act like we have it altogether.

I don’t have it altogether. Not even close. I need encouraging people. I need love and support. I need people to help me through life. Funny thing is God brings those people to us. Sometimes in the most unexpected ways, to keep us going when we are ready to give up and throw in the towel.

Appreciate the people around you. Show them that you care. Show them that they are worth it. Encourage them. Make them feel special. You never know when God is using you to make a difference in their life, in their day, in their week, in their circumstance.

Lift one another up. Build one another up. Stop tearing one another down. The one’s that are the hardest to show this to are the ones who need it the most.

Love you all who read this. Thank you for taking the time to stop by.

~Lynn

IMG_1219

Advertisements