To be honest…I often want to start these posts very negatively. Not because I am a negative person but because I feel negative sometimes. But then I think about it and my heart changes. I am grateful that I am an ever eternal optimist. I am grateful that I have hope and faith that things will all work out, even when I don’t feel like it’s working out in the moment.
This holiday season has started off rough for me and if you knew me, I love the holidays. I am all for celebrating, spending time with family and friends, decorating, partaking in the festivities, etc. This year feels different for me.
I keep going back to the past and last year at this time. It was good at first in my head and then the Thanksgiving break happened and everything hit the fan. Not that I knew all that was entailed with it at the time. But I knew that something had changed and something was off. Only I didn’t know what it was and wanted to immediately fix it.
I learned that I couldn’t fix it….no matter how much I wanted to. It went deeper than me and no matter how much I loved and cared, God has to be the one to work it out. I have to have faith in him and trust him.
But this year, it feels like there is a void and there is something missing. I understand why people don’t like the holidays now. I’m trying to get myself into the holiday spirit by doing what I normally do but again my mind keeps going to the would’ve could’ve should’ve and what happened a year ago.
Instead of dwelling on that though, I’m going to be grateful for what I do have. I’m going to enjoy the time that I do have with the people that I do have in my life.
I’m going to cuddle up with Tux and watch Christmas movies. I’m going to have my girlfriends over and enjoy mulled cider and popcorn. I will continue to strive to make other people feel loved and appreciate the holidays. As I know that other people hate the holidays for deeper reasons than I do.
I refuse to turn into the grinch! I will not let my heart shrink. I will not become bitter. Instead I will focus on the reason for this season and try to bless those around me and encourage them.
I will say thank you to you…..
Though I may not get to say it to your face, I just want to say thank you. You have taught me more than you can ever know or imagine. The way the Lord worked through you in my life still honestly blows my mind. You were such an answer to prayer in so many ways. So thank you for being you.
Thank you for being the man that I fell in love with. Thank you for pushing me and challenging me and opening up to me. Thank you for introducing me to a whole new outlook on the world. Thank you for introducing me to new ways to worship and a whole new level of my relationship with Christ.
Thank you for telling me to find what makes me happy. Thank you for shutting me out. Thank you for helping to force me to grow. Thank you for being there for me with some of the scariest times in my life. Thank you for seeing me and who I was when I didn’t see who I was. Thank you for bringing so much joy and happiness to my life.
But seriously most of all, thank you so much for being you. You will never know much I tried to know every single piece of you and how I feel about you. It’s such a deep love that I have for you. It’s such a deep respect that I have for you. You a simply amazingly beautiful and wonderful man.
I am so blessed that you walked into my life. Thank you for all the challenges and the hard times. It’s making me into who I’m supposed to be. Thank you for all the late night talks and traveling adventures. I will treasure those moments spent with you forever.
Just remember to appreciate the times that you do have with the people that you love. You don’t know how long you’ll get to have them in your life. Be grateful for the good and the bad times and see how the Lord is going to use each and every situation. He may be teaching you something even though the bad times.
Generally it is through the trials and the challenges that he teaches us the most.It’s when our faith is tested and we then have to choice to believe and trust in him or turn and walk away. Faith is believing in the impossible and going against what common sense dictates. God is in the business of miracles, signs, and wonders.
Have faith in him and thank him. Thank the people that are in your life too and show them that you love them.
Love you all! Have a wonderful Monday!