It’s the month for thanks right? Well I’m not going to lie I wasn’t feeling very thankful this morning. Why is it that for every good day there is bad day right after? Or what starts off as a bad day?
Yesterday was great. Work was good…busy but I love the people I work with. I love where I work. It’s beautiful. and this may not sound all that great to some but there are windows in my office. My last office did not have windows. After work I got to help at the Salvation Army. We served them a Thanksgiving style meal. It was such a blessing to work alongside those beautiful women. They all have such kind and giving spirits. I can’t wait til next month when we get to serve together again.
I was able to speak with some of them and really get to know them a bit more. What I’ve learned is that I’m not the only one who is shy. So I have to sometimes make the first step. Starting conversations are sometimes awkward but so worth it. You never know how your testimony or story is going to bless someone else.
I was even reminded of that with the student that I had met with yesterday morning. Give God the glory in everything and trust that he can do it. I am thankful that he brought me out of where I was headed. I do not even want to think about where I would be without him. It would be a sincerely scary and dark place.
Because honestly right now every time that I feel alone he reminds me that he is there. Whether it is a song, a verse, or his presence. When I start to feel down and I call to him or whisper to him, he is there. I don’t know why I ever doubt him. His timing is so perfect.
But then I sleep and I dream and it brings things up. Last night’s dream was particularly painful. For me it’s heartache that keeps coming up because that is part of what I am continuing to battle. I dreamed again that he was not talking to me and then that I agreed to go on a date with someone else but then he showed up and he and I kind of patched things up but then I saw him ask some other girl to dinner and I tried chasing after them to see who it was.
It killed everything inside me. It just made me realize that I don’t want anyone else. I’m not looking for anyone else. And reminded me that I need closure if anything. But I don’t know when I’ll get it. It started my day off bad. I didn’t want to get up. I had dreams of being productive and getting things done and doing this that and the other thing but then this paralyzed me.
I’m tired of being paralyzed. Again I prayed and then I started to think about all the things to be thankful for. So I’m going to show you in pictures some of the things that I am thankful for. The things that are important to me. But basically they aren’t things. I am thankful for people and my time with God and I want more of it.
I would keep posting pictures of people. I have too many to be thankful for and here I am worrying about one man. When you enter my life, I will forever care about you and will forever want the best for you. I am grateful for however long I have you in my life. For some, like him, I fall in love with. And I don’t easily fall out of love. But I think I’ll delve into the romantic love side of things in another post.
I am thankful for the change he has made in me and how he is using me everyday. I am sure he has used me in ways that I may never know. Because he has used other people in my life in ways that they will never know. So be thankful for the people. And dwell on what you are thankful for. This has changed my whole outlook on today.
I’m ready to go out and do what the Lord will have me to do today. I will not be stuck in bed or dwelling on the negatives. I will look at the positives and the possibilities of today. I want more out of life and therefore I will do what I can to ensure that happens. I have to make the choice. You have to make the choice. You can’t expect it to just happen.
You have to be intentional. Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone! 🙂