It’s been a crazy busy couple weeks that have caused me to procrastinate on posting anything. I’ve made excuses and also avoided it because well it makes me sit down and think by myself.
Sitting down and thinking can be both a great and terrible thing. It’s important for self reflection. However, sometimes we then over analyze situations and completely morph it into something that it isn’t.
I’ve been trying to avoid that. It’s therapeutic to sit down and think through things but it makes me get all in my feelings. And well I’ve been so busy that I’ve been able to push them to the side. When I’m reminded of things, I just pray for the situation and person instead. But it doesn’t always allow me to feel what I need to feel.
Just because I’m Christian and I pray, doesn’t mean I’m a hundred percent all the time. Presently I can’t listen to romance songs as it sends me into a tisy. The only romantic movies I can watch are Christmas ones but even those can push me over the edge.
Certain things around town send me into an emotional tail spin. I put on the face that things are ok, when in reality I’m often still fighting to get out of bed. If I don’t have plans for the day, I don’t want to get out of bed. I still have moments where I ball my eyes out in my closet.
The thing is I know that many of us do this. And we just don’t tell anyone or we tell only a couple people, that we really truly trust. Especially as Christians. It’s almost like it’s believed that you are not spiritual enough if you admit that you are emotionally struggling or that you are depressed. Well that’s not true.
There is nothing wrong with you or me. It’s okay. You’re allowed to break down. You’re allowed to hurt. You’re allowed to feel. The Lord created us that way. He made us relational so when a relationship develops a rift or tear in it, it is going to cause pain and we are going to feel it.
Feel the pain. Go through it. Cry out to God. Ask him the tough questions like Why? But don’t get stuck there. Don’t let it consume your mind. Don’t dwell. Don’t fall prey to over analyzing and focusing on the pain. Give it to God. Keep giving it to him. It’s not a once and done thing. It’s a daily thing. Sometimes it’s an hour to hour, minute to minute thing.
There is a reason and a purpose for this. It’s growing you and stretching you and bringing you closer to God. Because let’s be honest, he’s the only thing that is going to bring you out of the funk and out of your situation.
He’ll hold you and talk to you and calm you. He will give you that indescribable peace. But you know what you have to do to get there?
You have to get alone. You have to be quiet. You have to get in his word and trust him and lean into him. You have to step out on faith and give it over to him. You can’t run away forever. You can’t be so busy that you push it down so far. It will eat you up inside and destroy. You can’t distract yourself forever and expect to be healthy and have good relationships.
You have to take care of yourself and let God take care of you. Don’t be scared to be alone. Because you are not alone. Not ever. He is always always with you and knows everything that is going to happen. He’s also already worked it all out for you. You just have to step out on faith and give it over to him.
Don’t be afraid to be alone. He will heal you and be with you. Have a blessed evening everyone!