I have finally been living life again and have gotten so caught up in that, that I am struggling to keep up with this. I have so many thoughts and ideas of what to share. Because let me tell you the past week in and of itself has been an interesting ride.
I declared my winter season was over and that I was walking into Spring. I firmly believe that. But with the Spring comes severe temperature changes, blossoming, and growth. It comes with rain and storms. It’s a new season that is for sure. There are many blessings that come in the Spring but it is still painful.
The growth that you went through on the inside during the Winter is exposed and brought to light on the outside. It’s beautiful but it has to push through some dead things and dark things to demonstrate it’s beauty. That’s what I’m going through right now.
The Winter was cold and dark and quiet at times. A great deal of inner work was happening in this hibernation, if you will. It felt very lonely and seemed painful and unfair at times. Now I want to come out and share my buds and my growth and expose all the things that the Lord has worked out on the inside.
However, I am fearful about how others may react and I am fearful of being destroyed and exposed if I show the beauty that I feel. Because for so long I have felt insecure and like I don’t measure up. I feel like no one will accept me or see my beauty or appreciate me for me. All I want to do is show what the Lord has done for me to help others see what he can do for them.
But the insecurities and fears keep coming back. The darkness of winters past try to pull me back and keep me small and insignificant. But I know that is the enemy talking. That is not what the Lord has for me. He has greater plans that I had for myself. He is beginning to reveal his Spring for me in my life.
I just have to keep blooming and blossoming and fighting through. I have to keep trusting him and relying on him to do what he said he was going to do. No matter how early so may say the Spring is coming this year. For me, it’s been a long winter and this is a beautiful Spring. It’s my year.
It’s requiring me to step out in more faith. It’s requiring me to rely on him more and trust him more. It’s allowing me to see him in new and mighty ways. It’s giving me confidence in him and the importance of sharing what he is doing. It’s helping me to understand his love for me and for my fellow man.
It’s helping me to see that it’s time for me to really step out of my comfort zone and go where he is calling me. It’s time for me to speak out and say the things that he is asking me. It’s causing me to ask for help and to trust others to help me and support me through this. It’s keeping my walls down and exposing me in the most interesting way.
It’s allowing me to finally and truly be me. It’s letting me be the me that I always was. It’s helping me to remain soft but tough at the same time. I’m not fearful of what others may say against me because it is not about me. I am doing what the Lord is asking me to do. I am saying what he has laid on my heart and showing others his love. It’s the easiest and toughest thing all at the same time.
But I am not alone. He is with me and he is giving me support through some of the most unexpected of sources. He is protecting me along the way and helping me to be discerning. My time in this location and place is drawing to a close. He has been preparing me for this next chapter. He’s equipping me for what is next.
He can and is doing the same thing for you. You need to trust him. You need to listen for him. If he can do it for me, he can do it for you. You just have to be willing. I’ll be the first to tell you it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be hard but it’s going to be worth it. You just have to make the choice.
It’s worth it my friends!