Fear has been something that has been on my mind a lot lately. It’s what’s kept me from posting anything on here for 10 days. It’s what’s kept me from opening my mouth and speaking up many times. It’s what keeps me from letting people in. It keeps me from going where I need to go and doing what I need to do. It cripples me and so many of us so often.
Why do we let it win? Why do we let it keep us from doing what we want and what we know we are called to do? Why do we give in? I’m tired of giving in. It’s exhausting to keep giving into my fear and letting it keep me stuck and complacent. I feel as though it is keeping me from truly living life.
Every so often I get the motivation to face a fear head on and I get a bit of gumption. It’s exhilarating. I feel like I am experiencing life. I feel like I am able to do anything and then something brings the fear and insecurities back to the forefront of my mind. Sometimes it’s quicker to shake away than other times.
Recently, I have been able to kick it a bit quicker. But I realize it’s not me kicking it. Jesus is kicking it for me. I’m letting Lynn get out of the way and letting him do his thing. There is no limit with him on my side. He can do anything he wants. If he wants me somewhere, no matter what others may do to stop it, he’s going to make a way. No it may not be easy and it may not happen how I thought it was going to but he’ll make a way.
My fears have kept me in this town, my fears have kept me in bad relationships, my fears have kept me from traveling, my fears have kept me from writing, my fears have kept me from speaking, my fears have kept me from meeting new people, my fears have kept me in my apartment, my fears have kept me closed off, my fears have kept me from loving, my fears have kept me from living….my fears have kept me from so much.
My fears will continue to creep up but this is truly the time to face them. I’m going to face them one at a time head on. I will not let my pride or my insecurities get in the way. I will not let others talk me out of what I need to do and where I need to go. I can no longer worry about pleasing everyone that I meet but instead need to focus on pleasing the Lord.
It’s a blessing to start to face your fears. I’m going to start sharing how I am starting to face each of my fears. Writing this blog and this post is honestly one of my ways that I am facing my fears. I am not letting my recent hurt and heartbreak stop me from where I am going and what is ahead for me.
That would be letting him win. That would be letting the devil win. It would be me being disobedient and being exactly what some have said about me. Instead, I will not worry about that. I will live life. I will go to the places that are on my heart and interact with those that I meet. I will have conversations and get to know people. I will keep my heart, my eyes, and my mind open to each new experience.
There is so much to life. I cannot keep letting my fears win. I cannot let others discourage me. It’s not worth it to me. I cannot wait for the adventure to continue. It’s already been a crazy busy year and it appears to only be getting busier.
Stay tuned as I talk about getting a tattoo, traveling alone, speaking up about important issues, having tough conversations, learning to love, praying, and every other fear and adventure that I get to experience.
The Lord is just getting started with me and he has so much more in store than I can even imagine at this moment!