There is no one in my corner
No one understands me
I’m not lovable
My mistakes are too big
I have no one to talk to
There is no one that I can trust
No one will listen
There is no one to accept me
You are broken
You are your past
No one will love you
You are worthless
You are ugly
You are pious
You are a bigot
You are small
You are insignificant
You don’t know what you are talking about
They’re going to hurt you
You are going to hurt them
And the list could go on. These are the things that go on in my mind. I start to doubt everything and question everyone. I begin to believe that there is no good and that no one is on my side and no one sees what I see or feels what I feel.
The truth is not that. The truth is that we all feel this way at one time or another. Some of us feel it more than others. Usually it’s the ones who give the most to others and love on others the most who are feeling the most insecure and unloved by others. Why? Because they see everyone else hurting and and to help stop their pain. But in turn they too are hurting. But they don’t want anyone to feel the way that they do.
So they hold the people and they encourage them. When all they really want is for someone to hold them and tell them everything is going to be okay. They want to fall apart. Little do they know that they help to carry the others who are hurting, silently, without others knowing. Part of it could be pride. Part of it could be love. Part of it could because they want to do right by others.
The truth is none of us are alone. No matter how alone we feel and how insignificant we may think we are. We are not. We have people who God has brought into our life to help hold us and help to carry us. They are there to support us and no matter how many times we walk over them and toss them to the side or abuse their love and support, they are always going to be there.
They are going to be in our corner. They will go to bat for us and do anything for us. Even when we don’t ask. Now they aren’t always going to be able to read our minds. Sometimes we are going to have to ask for help but they want to help us make it to the finish line. Especially when it gets really tough. They want to be there in the tough times. They don’t want to be there just in the good times, when you are feeling great. They want to help you through and put a smile on your face.
The thing is most of the time we won’t even know that they are fighting for us. Sometimes they’ll tell us. Sometimes God shows us or lets us feel it. Other times we just know that the only reason why we made it through a situation or season is because someone was interceding and praying on our behalf.
So in those moments when I’m discouraged and feel like I need and want to give up. When it all seems too big and too impossible. When it seems unrealistic and I feel like no one understands. I remember that the Lord is on my side and that there are people fighting for me, the same way that I am fighting for people.
I’m working to stop believing the lies that keep being whispered to me. It’s a daily battle. I battle depression and anxiety every day. Sometimes I fall for them for a moment and then Jesus picks me right back up and holds me, even after I fight his help. I pray he keeps holding me and that he holds you too.