I am falling apart at the seams

All of my hurts and heartaches exposed

Fighting to breathe

Feeling the most alone that someone can feel

Tossed aside and rejected

Bruised and battered

Hoping that someone will see and call out to me

Yet no one does

I feel like I want to scream and cry at the top of my lungs

I said I wasn’t going to let myself get to this place

I feel so low

I wonder if it’s not actually me but me feeling what you feel

So connected and yet so distant

I’ve had to let you go

For my own protection

Either way it honestly destroys me

I’m at the point where I want to run away

Escape

Pretend it never happened and bury this all far away

Everyone else walks around so happy

I want my joy back

I had found it and it got swept away in all this craziness

I don’t get it

In fact

I’m sick of it

I’m sick of you being my favorite and the one that I want

And you not seeming to give a damn

For two years now I have loved you

And I’ve hoped you would pick me

But you overlook me

I’m just another face

Someone you once knew

An acquaintance

You know nothing about me now

Don’t know what’s slowly killing me

I can’t seem to get past this like you did

But you had your own other things to deal with

Things you had to focus on first

I’m never going to be your first again

I can see that now

It kills me to realize that

But I shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve done this before

You told me this was who you are

And I wanted to prove you wrong

I wanted to show you that people can be there

But you can’t walk on me anymore

Not anymore

I’m done

I’m out

I want to be happy

I want to be loved

I want someone to hold me

I want you to be happy

I want you to be loved

I want you to love

You’ve made this toxic to me

Something was so beautiful has become so twisted in all of this

Maybe one day I’ll get to see the point of all this

One day I won’t be anxious

One day I won’t be depressed

One day I’ll let someone in again

One day maybe someone will pick me first

Maybe I’ll be someone’s favorite

 

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