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It’s a question that many of us ask ourselves, “Is this where I thought I’d be?”.

If I’m truthful in my response, it’s a resounding, “Heck, no!”.

When I was younger and starting college, as with many people my age, I had a 5-10 year plan. That’s what they taught us to have right? We were supposed to be planning for our future. Get a degree, find a husband, start a career, and start a family. Settle in for at least the next 50 years of your life. If you didn’t follow that plan, you weren’t going to amount to anything.

Well, some may say then that I have amounted to nothing. I did finish my undergraduate degree but didn’t start a career. I waited tables for almost 2 years instead and then took a job in a call center. I needed steady income, health care, and didn’t want to move home. I was terrified to start my career. In that job though, I have earned a Master’s degree and moved up within the department. I’m about to start a post-graduate degree too.

I haven’t found a husband, yet and don’t have any children. I did fall in love though and I’m finding it hard to let myself feel that way again, since it didn’t work out how I had thought. I have my own apartment now with my two cats and manage to pay my own bills every month. I have the freedom to make plans and do what I want when I want. (This is something that I know my friends with families say they long for.)

I have a good job and have a great house. I really am truly blessed by everything that I have and all that I have done. It’s definitely not where I thought I would be at this age. This year hasn’t gone how I thought it would go. Part of that has to do with the fact that I put walls up and became very introverted, which is not who I am by nature. I’m slowly coming back out of that shell.

I’m about to have another birthday and I don’t want this year to be the same. I don’t want to settle into a routine of going to work and coming home, being exhausted from the long day I had. I want to go out and do things with people. I want to make a difference in my community. I want to invest in people’s lives and not just sulk away, sad that I am not where I thought that I would be. I am blessed beyond measure and have so much more than I could ever imagine. No, not everything is perfect all the time but I have all that I need with the Lord. He has been with me and provided for me each and every step of the way. I have lacked for nothing.

Is there where I thought I would be? No, it’s certainly is not. At the same time though, I wouldn’t change the path that I have been on. It has taught me so much and I have experienced so much. I have much more to learn and I believe much more to share. We all do. We don’t have to go on some pre-prescribed path that someone else has laid out for us. We can forge our own path and learn along the way. There is nothing that says that I have to be married and have a family by a certain age. There is nothing that says that I am any less of a person because I am not married. I am my own person and I am loved and valued as I am. You are loved and valued for who you are. Figure out the direction that you want to go and run as hard and fast in that direction as you can. Don’t let anyone drag you down or tell you that you should be at a different point in your life than you are. You know you and where you are is where you are supposed to be.

Shalom!

~Lynn

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