Have you ever realized that one chapter in your life is getting ready to end and another one is about to begin? That’s where I am at right now and I’m not entirely sure what that means or what that looks like. We talked about it in church this morning. The season of transition is over and it’s time to start new. But what does that mean and how will it look?
I really wish that I had all the answers sometimes. I wish I knew what to expect and what the answer is to the decisions that I have to make. And yet I don’t wish that I had the answers. I think it would be more terrifying sometimes if we did have the answers. Doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t mind a sneak preview sometimes. Maybe just a hint. Something to give me a clue. Sometimes we get it. Sometimes we don’t.
But that’s the whole point of faith right? We have to trust that the Lord really does have our best interest at heart, no matter what it may look like.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited. Terrified beyond belief but excited. I know it’s been a long time coming and I’m sure it would’ve arrived sooner, had I been obedient. But I get scared. I shut down and settle for the comfort of just staying in my house and doing the familiar. However, I know that I want more than familiar and I want more than settling. I want adventure. I want to see new things, experience new places, meet new people.
But what does that look like? It could be anything. I have to be ready for anything and trust that it’s the way I’m supposed to go. I have to trust that the Lord is opening up the right doors for me and that I am following him. It’s so simple and yet so complicated. I have let distractions get in the way before. I’ve said previously that I won’t let them get in the way and yet they do. Why am I expecting this time to be different? Because I am different.
I am different, as I have grown. I went through heart break and being let down by people who were the closest to me and survived. I have survived restructuring at work and come out on the other side. I have lost friends and people I care about along the way. Yet the Lord has always provided and taken care of me. This time won’t be any different. It just might not look how I thought or expected and that’s alright.
I am sad that this chapter is ending, as it has been one of much growth and learning. At the same token, I am excited for what this next chapter holds, as I know the Lord is getting ready to blow my mind like never before.